This one makes me realize how people online tend to paint a certain picture of themselves… they believe to be a certain way.. and then slowly with time that beautiful painting starts to peel off…  No one wants to be the crazy guy with hang ups or issues… sadly.. you can’t hide who you are.

Mr. OCDP was a great guy. One of the worst parts of being on so many online dates is that meeting people no longer phases me in any way. Most people feel various forms of nervous, shock, fear or excitement when meeting someone for the first time. These feelings have long since left me on first dates. Instead i attempt to steer the nervous conversation away from things like Whats your favorite movie, where would you travel if you could and that my favorite color is blue.  I ask deeper questions, personal questions… and things that attempt to get the real person and their story.

I digress. MR OCDP being that he was a paramedic.. he said “i’ve been on thousand of 1st dates”. He states.. Each time he picks up a patient he has to make them comfortable and relaxed usually in really bad situations so he was a natural speaker. Good point. Conversation was easy and effortless. He asked good questions that made me talk about me. … What a nice change!

Relationship ensues.

Everything is great! This guy seems to be legit. Good job.. good conversation… good lookish. (although that marathon he said he ran is long since ran and he is definitely heading towards that 30+ beer belly gut.. Athletic my butt)…

Slowly… the painting crumbles.

Upon that first meeting… he states he is a messy guy. I’m all for a bit of mess.. creative types usually are. Upon the first visit to his house… we are defiantly slightly more than messy. Although the house was not dirty… ie no food garbage laying around… This place is stuffed.. to the max.

But come now.. i’ve met a great guy who does awesome things like buy the kind of pop i like to drink, runs out to by the video game I like to play with me, hands me over keys to his place and talks about how awesome i am all the time… Will i let a little bit of mess stop me? ONWARD!

But the mess… does not go away… in fact.. over time.. I become distinctly aware of the oddness of the mess. Although this mans entire house is total chaos with piles of junk and random things everywhere… there is Order in this mess. Order that i slowly realize MUST occur or MR OCDP feels stress… terror.. pain…

He places each and every lottery ticket he buys every week into the same drawer. A drawer full of 3 years of lottery tickets. All non winners.

He saves each and every bag that the daily newspaper comes in. He has thousands of them. But he has this systematic way of blowing into them to see if they have a hole in them or not. They go in one pile if holes, another if they are ‘good’. Neither pile ever gets used for anything.

The kitchen is the first place I really notice MR OCDP past still hanging out.  Although his online profile admitted he wasnt “the best cook” this was an exaggeration by far. He DIDNT cook beyond the BBQ. But his kitchen is stocked with random ingredients that distinctly smell of cooking. Muscles in the freezer, Almond extract in the cupboard, Fancy rices, special sauces, cake mixes and yeast to make bread. All Expired. Years ago expired.  Someone once did all the cooking and it wasnt him.

I also begin to notice other random items around the house. A photo of him and the ex. A trip to Cuba memories photo frame of items. A painting with her initials. Her business cards. This is an ex of his from over 3 years ago.

This starts the beginning of the end of the relationship of awesome.

Upon discussion of these things, he doesnt seem to know what im talking about. He is over her he stresses.  Over time i believe he is over her but Not over ‘it’… the relationship… . In fact.. Mr OCDP seems to have a hard time letting go of well… anything..

The painting falls off the wall.

Mr OCDP wakes up in the morning and creates his to do list for the day.  On little post it notes he has beside the bed and various places around the house. If somethings comes up that causes items to not be able to be taken OFF the todo list.. stress starts.  This can be.. well uh.. life.. My sister in law just found out she is pregnant … we are all going out for dinner so you cant cut the grass today… to Lets stay in bed all day and has copious amounts of sex but then you cant do laundry or return those towels you bought. What? you cant get hard cause your stressing about it? … .  Grass is CUT on Monday morning. Newspaper sit in THIS pile for exactly 2 weeks. Even when camping in the wilderness,  MR OCDP before bed routine of  “facewash, toner, night cream” happens… yes.. over the campfire… Old blueberries go into the new blueberry container that waits by the sink so they can be washed evenly and … You get the idea of the crazy flavor here.  Pattern, Routine, Plans, Lists.

After a few more attempts to talk about, work out, be civil, explain myself to this man.. i realize we are dealing with some serious mental health issues.

Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by a combination of such thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions). Symptoms may include repetitive handwashing; extensive hoarding. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and come across to others as psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their thoughts and subsequent actions as irrational, and they may become further distressed by this realization. ( Thanks Wikipedia)

This man is one step away from being featured in the next episode of Hoarders. Yet sadly he feels he is a well adjusted and awesome empathetic and compromising  individual.. who is totally wanting a partnership and relationship..  as long as the person does things exactly the way he wants, at his time, in his patterns.

I ended it. Although in typical my style.. we’ve discussed these things for quite a few weeks and im sure he was equally ok to let me go so he can return to his life of pretending these issues don’t exist. May the force be with  you Mr OCDP. Your dream girl is out there.